Is it the Fault of the Father or the Son?





There is a father whose son comes home at two in the night. As such, his net worth is five million, and this is his
only son! The father stays awake waiting to see, ‘Has he come
or not?’ And when the son arrives, he staggers into the home
drunk. The father tries to say something to him five to seven
times, but in return he gets abuses hurled back at him, so he
retracts. Then people like us would say, “Don’t even bother.
Let the fool be! You should go ahead and sleep peacefully.”
To that he replies, “After all, he is my son!” As though it was
he who had given birth to him!
Now, the son would come home and fall asleep. So then,
I asked the father, “After your son goes to sleep, do you fall
asleep or not?” To that, he answered, “How can I fall asleep?
This hypocrite comes home drunk and goes to sleep. Do I
look like a hypocrite?” I told him, “He is actually wise!” Just
look at it, does this wise one take on any pain! So then I told
him, “The fault is of the sufferer. Is he the one suffering or are
you the one suffering?” To that, he said, “I am the one who
is suffering! Restless and sleepless all night...” I told him,
“It is not his fault. It is your fault. You had spoiled him in
the past life and this is its result that you are now receiving.
Because you had spoiled him, he has come to give this ‘stock’
of repayment to you. Your other three sons are good, why are
you not happy about that? All these are difficulties that you
yourself have created. This world is worth understanding!”
One day, I asked this old man’s uncontrollable son, “Hey,
your father is suffering a lot of pain. Are you not suffering
any pain?” The son replied, “What pain do I have to suffer?
My father is sitting there having earned a lot of money. I have
nothing to worry about! I am enjoying myself!”
Therefore, between the father and the son, who is the
one suffering? The father. Hence, it is indeed the father’s
fault! The fault is of the sufferer. This boy may be gambling
or whatever he may be doing, and in the meanwhile, his brothers
 fall asleep peacefully, don’t they! His mother also
falls asleep peacefully, doesn’t she! While this unfortunate
old man is the only one who stays awake. So it is his fault.
What is his fault? It is that this old man in his past life had
spoiled this boy. Therefore, those karmic ties from the past
life remain. That is why the old man is suffering, and when
the son will suffer, that is when his fault will be caught. Out
of the two, who is the one suffering? It is the fault of the one
suffering. If one understands just this one law, then the entire
path to liberation opens up!
So then I told the father, “Now you should continue
doing things that are beneficial for him. Keep helping him in
ways that benefit him and do not harm him. Do not take on
any mental afflictions [on his account]. Run errands for him,
do everything. If you have the money then give it to him, but
do not remember the mental afflictions.”
Nevertheless, what is the law that we follow? The fault
is of the sufferer. Your son comes home drunk and falls asleep
soundly, while you cannot fall asleep the entire night. Then
you tell me that, “The hypocrite has gone to sleep.” I would
say, “Hey, you are suffering, so it is your fault. When he will
suffer, then it will be his fault.”
Questioner: Parents suffer the fault, but they suffer it
with my-ness and a sense of responsibility, isn’t it?
Dadashri: Not just my-ness and a sense of responsibility,
but the main reason is that the fault is theirs. Apart from myness,
 there are many other causes. However, you are suffering
so it is your fault. Therefore, do not find fault in anyone else.
Otherwise, a karmic account for the next life will be bound
once again!
So the laws in both cases are different. If you honor the
 law of nature, then your path will become straightforward
and if you honor the law of the government, then you will
continue to become entangled.
Questioner: But Dada, he should be able to find that
fault himself, shouldn’t he?
Dadashri: No, one cannot find it himself. But he needs
someone to point it out to him. There should be such a person
he can trust. Once the fault is seen, then within two or three
occurrences it will come into his experience.
 That is why we have said that if you do not understand,
then write down this much at home, ‘The fault is of the
sufferer.’ If the mother-in-law is continuously bothering you
and you are not able to sleep at night, but when you go to
see her, she is sound asleep, snoring away, then you should
understand that it is your fault. The mother-in-law has soundly
fallen asleep. The fault is of the sufferer. Do you like this
point or not? So, if you just understand that the fault is of the
sufferer, then not a single quarrel will remain in the home.
First of all, learn how to live life. There will be fewer
quarrels at home. Then learn other things!

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