Nilay and Sulay were twins, but their
behavior, likes and dislikes were
completely different. Nilay was doing
very well with his wife Nikita, whereas
Sulay and his wife Reema quarreled
frequently.
Nilay had organized a surprise party for
his wife's birthday. All his friends and
family members came to their home at
the same time and surprised Nikita by
wishing her a happy birthday.
"Oh my! Thanks a ton Nilay! I really loved
this surprise!" Nikita exclaimed with
happiness. Right then, suddenly, Nikita's
phone rang. "Wish you a very Happy
birthday Nikita! You are going to be very
busy today, aren't you? But please come
home when you are free. We are really
missing you." It was her mother,
Sumitraben.
Why? Aren't you coming here today?" She
asked her mom, looking suspiciously at Nilay.
"No, you spend some good time with Nilay today!" It seemed as if Sumitraben was unaware of the party. "Okay mom! Will call you later!" Nikita put the phone down, and rushing towards Nilay, she asked, "You invited everyone, except my own parents! How could you!" Oh no! It just completely slipped my mind. I can't believe that I did it!" Nilay immediately realized, what a major blunder he had committed! "All you remember is your own family". Nikita was very angry. "I am really sorry, Nikita! I made all these arrangements in a hurry and I forgot about them." He tried to peacefully sort out the matter so that Nikita's mood didn't get spoilt. The party was over, but Nikita kept on sulking. Sulay was seeing all of this. He said to Nilay, "Did you see that brother? This is how wives are. You did so much for her but she is sulking for a small thing. It is not worth doing anything for such people!" "No, but it was my fault. I should not have hurt her today." Saying this, Nilay went to Nikita without wasting any time. "Nikita, please help me resolve this. I am really guilty of what I did." He tried to convince her to forgive him. "Oh my dear! You know very well how unorganized I am! You can multitask so efficiently but I can't. Consequently, I make mistakes."
"Its okay! But we will go to meet mom and dad tomorrow!" Nikita had cooled down! "I have an idea! What if we go to your farmhouse with mom and dad!" "Really? Will you come?" "Yes, why not? Infact, we'll spend the entire day with them." "Oh, that's awesome! I had always wished for you to come to our farmhouse with the family." "And we'll celebrate your birthday again, tomorrow, with your parents!" Nilay, with his common sense, could smoothly avoid coflict with his wife before it got worse. Few days later, Sulay and Nilay were chatting when Reema called Sulay, "Have you booked the tickets for our vacation trip to Jaisalmer?" "I was just going to book them! And one more thing, I met my friend Rahul on the way, he and his wife want to accompany us as well." "With Rahul and his wife...? No! I definitely do not approve of it!" "You have never liked any of my friends!" Shouted Sulay, into the phone. "You go, I haven't stopped you, have I?" Reema replied angrily. "Well then, I 'll go on my own!" Saying this, Sulay angrily hung up on Reema.
Nilay was listening to all this, "Why were you talking to bhabi (brother's wife) in such a tone?" He asked. "What can I do? She never understands me! Just spoils every plan at the last minute!" Nilay tried to explain, "Sulay, isn't it better if we understand and adjust rather than expecting it from the other person?". "What do you mean? Should I be asking her permission for everything?". "My Guru (spiritual teacher) has taught me that if we take care of our wife's likes and dislikes, she will definitely take care of ours!". Nilay spoke. "So does it mean that I do all the things that she likes?". "That's not necessary. Just find some solution , so that she is happy." "So what should I do?" "It is simple! You decide for yourself that who is going to be with you for a longer time, Reema or Rahul?" "Of course its Reema!" "So then you know the answer! Don’t you?" “You are so right! Thank you. But in similar situations, why don't such solutions occur to me? Why do I lack such an intuition (soojh)!"
Let us see what Dadashri says regarding this matter…
Gnani's Scientific Solutions
Common sense means...
Questioner: If one can complete worldly tasks speedily and efficiently and to be able to avoid clashes with others?
Dadashri: If one can complete worldly tasks speedily then that is called Does common sense mean the ability to do any (worldly) task Q&A Soojh. He is called the one with soojh. Common sense is that which is " applicable everywhere ". Even the locks which are most difficult to open are opened by it. (That is, the toughest (most difficult) of humans can be managed with common sense!) Common sense prevents difference of opinions (mat-bhed)! Dadashri: Do you ever have difference of opinions (mat-bhed)? What does mat-bhed mean? It means you were unable to open the locks! (One was unable to deal with others properly). But from where can he get the common sense? I mean to say that its fine if one lacks the complete common sense of 360 degrees, but one would at least have 40-50 degrees of it! What if one keeps his attention on it? If one decides to keep his attention on one auspicious thought, then when he remembers that thought, he will have awareness. Seeds of good thoughts are sown. Then that train of thought starts. The one with common sense will not let any differences arise in the house. From where does he get common sense? It will arise if one spends time with the Gnani and remains in his service continuously. Such a person will never let any quarrels happen at home or even outside. Simplicity Enhances Common Sense Questioner: Does common sense increase with straightforwardness?
Dadashri: Yes, it increases a lot. Because of straightforwardness he does get cheated but his common sense increases a lot. The person may take more money and cheat us but in return our common sense increases. In this world, without a transaction, nothing happens. Something or the other is given in return. "
"No, you spend some good time with Nilay today!" It seemed as if Sumitraben was unaware of the party. "Okay mom! Will call you later!" Nikita put the phone down, and rushing towards Nilay, she asked, "You invited everyone, except my own parents! How could you!" Oh no! It just completely slipped my mind. I can't believe that I did it!" Nilay immediately realized, what a major blunder he had committed! "All you remember is your own family". Nikita was very angry. "I am really sorry, Nikita! I made all these arrangements in a hurry and I forgot about them." He tried to peacefully sort out the matter so that Nikita's mood didn't get spoilt. The party was over, but Nikita kept on sulking. Sulay was seeing all of this. He said to Nilay, "Did you see that brother? This is how wives are. You did so much for her but she is sulking for a small thing. It is not worth doing anything for such people!" "No, but it was my fault. I should not have hurt her today." Saying this, Nilay went to Nikita without wasting any time. "Nikita, please help me resolve this. I am really guilty of what I did." He tried to convince her to forgive him. "Oh my dear! You know very well how unorganized I am! You can multitask so efficiently but I can't. Consequently, I make mistakes."
"Its okay! But we will go to meet mom and dad tomorrow!" Nikita had cooled down! "I have an idea! What if we go to your farmhouse with mom and dad!" "Really? Will you come?" "Yes, why not? Infact, we'll spend the entire day with them." "Oh, that's awesome! I had always wished for you to come to our farmhouse with the family." "And we'll celebrate your birthday again, tomorrow, with your parents!" Nilay, with his common sense, could smoothly avoid coflict with his wife before it got worse. Few days later, Sulay and Nilay were chatting when Reema called Sulay, "Have you booked the tickets for our vacation trip to Jaisalmer?" "I was just going to book them! And one more thing, I met my friend Rahul on the way, he and his wife want to accompany us as well." "With Rahul and his wife...? No! I definitely do not approve of it!" "You have never liked any of my friends!" Shouted Sulay, into the phone. "You go, I haven't stopped you, have I?" Reema replied angrily. "Well then, I 'll go on my own!" Saying this, Sulay angrily hung up on Reema.
Nilay was listening to all this, "Why were you talking to bhabi (brother's wife) in such a tone?" He asked. "What can I do? She never understands me! Just spoils every plan at the last minute!" Nilay tried to explain, "Sulay, isn't it better if we understand and adjust rather than expecting it from the other person?". "What do you mean? Should I be asking her permission for everything?". "My Guru (spiritual teacher) has taught me that if we take care of our wife's likes and dislikes, she will definitely take care of ours!". Nilay spoke. "So does it mean that I do all the things that she likes?". "That's not necessary. Just find some solution , so that she is happy." "So what should I do?" "It is simple! You decide for yourself that who is going to be with you for a longer time, Reema or Rahul?" "Of course its Reema!" "So then you know the answer! Don’t you?" “You are so right! Thank you. But in similar situations, why don't such solutions occur to me? Why do I lack such an intuition (soojh)!"
Let us see what Dadashri says regarding this matter…
Gnani's Scientific Solutions
Common sense means...
Questioner: If one can complete worldly tasks speedily and efficiently and to be able to avoid clashes with others?
Dadashri: If one can complete worldly tasks speedily then that is called Does common sense mean the ability to do any (worldly) task Q&A Soojh. He is called the one with soojh. Common sense is that which is " applicable everywhere ". Even the locks which are most difficult to open are opened by it. (That is, the toughest (most difficult) of humans can be managed with common sense!) Common sense prevents difference of opinions (mat-bhed)! Dadashri: Do you ever have difference of opinions (mat-bhed)? What does mat-bhed mean? It means you were unable to open the locks! (One was unable to deal with others properly). But from where can he get the common sense? I mean to say that its fine if one lacks the complete common sense of 360 degrees, but one would at least have 40-50 degrees of it! What if one keeps his attention on it? If one decides to keep his attention on one auspicious thought, then when he remembers that thought, he will have awareness. Seeds of good thoughts are sown. Then that train of thought starts. The one with common sense will not let any differences arise in the house. From where does he get common sense? It will arise if one spends time with the Gnani and remains in his service continuously. Such a person will never let any quarrels happen at home or even outside. Simplicity Enhances Common Sense Questioner: Does common sense increase with straightforwardness?
Dadashri: Yes, it increases a lot. Because of straightforwardness he does get cheated but his common sense increases a lot. The person may take more money and cheat us but in return our common sense increases. In this world, without a transaction, nothing happens. Something or the other is given in return. "
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